Well, I'd like to update that list today because I feel I owe it to Bear to show how he has proved everyone wrong.
The Wish List of a Special Needs Mom
1) To see my son take a step, even if it’s assisted in a gait trainer. I'm happy to report that Bear has taken off walking in his gait trainer. We walk around the complex, around his school, and he is just on the go.
2) To hear the word “Mama” even if it’s not directed at me.
3) To be able to pack cute Bento lunches for him because he still hasn’t figured out chewing.
4) To have him develop separation anxiety because sometimes it feels like he doesn’t know I’m Mama.
5) The only needles my son will endure are vaccines.
6) To be able to use a restaurant high chair, because he still cannot sit unsupported. Bear now sits in shopping carts and restaurant high chairs. We only use ones with buckles or straps because he doesn't do very well with righting himself and catching himself. He also sits completely unsupported and crawls and is starting to cruise furniture.
7) To not have tears at the scariness of the unknown future.
Number 7. I wish I could say the tears have stopped. But they haven't. However, they've changed. They've grown, they've matured, they've found new homes and new paths. I'm not crying at the fear of future although I still cry at the unknown. I'm crying because my son has sat up for the first time at 18 months. I'm crying because I've got 2 awful genetic mutations that have done this to him. However, I'm unscathed. I cry because I would do ANYTHING to take the suffering Bear goes through away and bear it myself. I cry because no matter how hard I try, I can't take it away. I cry, because that little boy is mine. That stubborn little boy who they said would never sit or crawl, and probably never walk. That little boy that is proving them all wrong. I cry because he's teaching me to move mountains, to push my hardest and to never give up even when the odds are stacked against you.
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