Tuesday, October 8, 2013

October, really?

I cannot believe it’s already October.  Time really flies.

Bear is loving school and is so close to walking it’s unbelievable.  He’s using his gait trainer and walking more and more at home and at school.

However, I’m really struggling lately.  Lots of people are having babies, healthy babies, around us.  And it’s hard.  While I’m absolutely overjoyed for them, it brings a lot of hard memories back to the forefront of my mind.

I remember how hard I prayed that Monkey would be a girl.  And 20 weeks later, he was a boy.  I remember how hard I prayed that he wouldn’t have the same issue.  And 6 weeks after birth, it was confirmed he did.  I am still crushed that I spent an entire pregnancy scared of what was to come.  I hate that I spent every moment of those first 6 weeks fighting with myself that he wasn’t affected by the same genetic issue. That there was something else going on.  that their hypertonia must be explained by another issue.  I hate that moment of how devastated I was finding out that he was indeed affected. 

It’s strange how with time, those memories fade away.  I don’t see Monkey’s diagnosis (or Bear’s) but  I see their accomplishments and their progress.  And then something triggers them and they come crashing back and give me a soul-crushing blow.  Sometimes it just still feels so surreal that this is it. 

Monday, July 29, 2013


Life has been moving.

We went on a small vacation over 4th of July and had a blast.  We got to take Monkey and Bear to a small (read: old) amusement park.  It was great!  They loved the rides and the excitement.

We're in the process of reviewing Bear's IEP and doing Monkey's annual IFSP.

Bear just had his 4th round of Botox.  My lower back is aching from trying to help him walk everywhere.

We're discussing our future.  Where we want to live for the happiness and success of our family.

Bear has become a professional duck feeder.  We had lunch on a small lake today and I showed him how to throw the cookies to the ducks.  I was certain that when I gave him a piece he was going to eat it.  BUT he surprises me everyday and was so excited to throw it down to the ducks.

This weather has been insane.  The other week it was 102 and then 2 days ago was 60.  We've been spending as much time in the pool as possible.

We're planning a trip back to the midwest in a month and I couldn't be more excited!

I took a quilting class that threatened to do me in.  It was insane.

I've been busy making quilts for bridal showers, baby showers and housewarming gifts.  It's been fun to be getting things accomplished.

I cannot believe summer is halfway over.  For the next two weeks I am busy EVERYDAY, in addition to taking Bear to and from school everyday and organizing Monkey's therapy.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

“You’re doing a good job”…and where that leads me


Today was our first visit to a new pediatrician for Monkey.  We visited the practice a week ago for Bear, but saw a different doctor.

This doctor was an amazing resource and we had some great discussion.  He was full of advice and clearly respected my opinion and the knowledge I have of the children.  He also took a lot of Bear’s history into account because they have the same diagnosis.

I giggled at one point when he was examining Monkey and said “He’s the poster boy for hypertonia”.  Monkey is much less affected than Bear, so if he thought Monkey’s tone was high, wait till he meets Bear.

We ended the visit on a good note and with a few vaccines (poor baby, but he was such a champ!).  Then he busts out the “YOU’RE DOING A GOOD JOB.  IF YOU EVER FEEL OVERWHELMED GIVE US A CALL.”  I explained that we have excellent family support and that we’re all working hard and Monkey is doing a great job.  He keeps going with “YOU’RE WORKING SO HARD AND WITHOUT YOU HE WOULDN’T BE GOING THIS FAR.”

This just struck a nerve with me.

1) I just met this practitioner, he doesn’t really have experience with Monkey or anyone with their diagnosis so it just felt like fluff.  Like he was saying it because he should.

2) I’m not doing a GOOD job.  I’m doing MY job.  I am a mother.  I signed on for this role when I got pregnant.  I am going to work my hardest to help my child anyway I can, just like any parent would do.

3) By telling me I’m doing a good job and discussing whether I’m overwhelmed, you are just reminding me that everything I feel is normal, is not.  That what I’m used to is not typical and not easy and it’s hard and never going to be normal.  It’s this lovely roller coaster ride of grief.  I’ve finally gotten through to acceptance, this is my life and I’m going to make it as normal as possible. We are a family, we go to the beach, the amusement park, the pool, the park, we hang out, watch movies, have friends over, etc.  This is NORMAL.  It has to be, because if I’m going to think of myself as “abnormal” or that I have it way tougher than anyone else, the future is a pretty bleak place.  I’ve had to change my viewpoint.  I have 2 children.  They may be different, but they’re still children.  We all still laugh, they have personalities, Monkey loves cupcakes, we all love swimming, we have bad times that are very bad, but we have good times.  And those good times are phenomenal.  Maybe because the bad is so bad that we know “it could be worse” or maybe because we know how far we had to travel to get to the good times that we can appreciate them even more.

4) And yes I’m overwhelmed.  When I picked Monkey up from his stroller, I hugged him tightly to my chest and let myself cry.  I am overwhelmed with love for my babies.  They are each a piece of my heart walking around outside my body.  And I think I love them more than typical parents because of how much they need me. To know that pieces of my heart are encapsulated in less than “typical” bodies is even scarier.  To know that pieces of my heart are going to be stared at, pointed at, possibly discriminated against, mocked and/or ridiculed is overwhelming.  I overwhelmingly love these boys so much, that at times it does hurt.  To know I cannot “fix” their hardships, or let them take the easy route can be heartbreaking.

And then Monkey gigglesnorts (a totally infections giggle/laugh that ends in this super huge snort-probably because he found a morsel of food) and I know, it’s okay. I daresay, normal.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Whole30 gone wrong

My fist whole30 turned into a whole60.  I felt amazing, lost weight and was a happy clam.  I quickly fell back into a horrible diet and after gaining 5 lbs recommitted to whole30.

And then the pain started.  I had horrible abdominal cramping, dizziness, nausea, indigestion, and bloating.

I was doing the whole30 wrong and ended up with diverticulitis.  


1) I have no gallbladder so I don't believe I digest foods as well as as before.
2) I really like nuts and fruit and salad.
3) I was not eating a balanced diet because of how busy our lives have been.

It's hot.  I hate cooking in the heat.  I think I ate salad with grilled chicken about 6 days in a row.  And way melon is in season.  So are strawberries.  And blueberries. And raspberries.  And cucumbers.  All high residue, difficult to digest foods.

I was way of doing it on the fresh seedy fruit and difficult to digest greens.  I ate very few cooked veggies and am paying for it.  I am taking a break from whole30 and did a 24 hour juice fast too rest my gut.  I am hoping Monday to resume whole30 with lots of cooked veggies and less residue foods.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Whole30: Day 30 Wrap Up



I cannot believe 30 days has come and gone!!! The first few days were so difficult that it felt like 30 days was going to take forever to get through.  And now it’s over and it feels like nothing.


So, was it worth it?


Yes, yes and yes!!! Hubs lost 10 lbs and a pants size.  I lost 16lbs and a pant size. Our energy levels are amazing and I feel fantastic. 


Did you learn anything?


I learned so much.  I learned how my body reacts to healthy food and I learned how easy eating healthy and at home can be.  I also think It Starts With Food  helped me understand my weight problem.  6 years ago I had a gallstone lodge at the entrance to my stomach and back everything up into my pancreas.  I had a severe case of pancreatitis and ended up severely septic.  Thankfully, I made it to the ER in time and I did bounce back after a few days.  I was on heavy duty IV antibiotics for 3 days before they could even consider removing my gall bladder.  I think this is where my issues started. 


I never let my body truly heal and recover.  Less than 6 weeks later I was in for another major surgery and another recovery process.  I truly don’t think my body ever healed and I’ve been struggling with systemic inflammation ever since.  It’s amazing how quickly my body adapted to this diet.  The weight loss was effortless.  Well, maybe not effortless if eating yummy delicious food is hard for you.  I think this diet works well for me because I LOVE vegetables, don’t love dairy or fruit and was gluten free for quite a while.  I never did well on diets with portion control because I was only eating when hungry yet I was ALWAYS hungry.  Now I eat my meal and sometimes have to remind myself that it’s dinner time hours later.


I do plan on continuing this diet for a while before reintroducing anything back in my diet.  I think my system needs more than 30 days to recover because of how long and how badly damaged it was.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Whole30: Days 27, 28, and 29


Tonight I’m blogging from my computer so I have a chance to actually elaborate.

we had plans to go to a farm show so it was leftover magic for lunch.  We had a blast and even trial ordered a basket from a local co-op.  I managed to get a bunch of London Broil on sale at the grocery store and we got a whole chicken at the farm show.  We were so hungry when we got home around 3:30 that we ate a bunch of leftovers and then just had a snack for supper.


Monday  is our full day of therapy and of course we had horrible weather.  I was not in the mood to cook so I just made Bilinksi’s chicken sausage, sautéed kale, and sautéed mushrooms and onions.  Monkey got his first tooth today!!! He has been sleeping horribly for a few days now.   Literally, we couldn’t even put him down a nap or he just screamed bloody murder.


Tuesday we went to story time and I completely forgot to pack a lunch. So I swung by the grocery store and took the kids to my Aunt’s house.  We had spring mix with grilled chicken, lemon and olive oil dressing and a navel orange.  Dinner was a little more exciting as we got our basket from the co-op!  I made fresh kale (which was amazing not bitter at all!) sautéed with garlic and EVOO, a bowl of fresh spinach which was starting to turn with dressing, Dijon Salmon (I cannot post a review because I HATE salmon, Hubs said it was okay), and baked apples.  I ended up eating leftover meatloaf.  I adventurously tried salmon but it was not for me.    The baked apples were fantastic. I sliced up some apples we bought at the farm show, placed them in a casserole dish and tossed with cinnamon and nutmeg.  I also spooned some coconut oil in for some moisture and fat.  Bake in the oven.  Next time I would cover it for a while, the top layer got a bit dry. 


I cannot believe tomorrow is our last day of the Whole30. I believe we will be continuing on it for a while but I’m excited to post all my stats and do a final summary.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Whole30: Days 24, 25, and 26

Thursday was a semi relaxed day. Monkey received vaccines Wednesday afternoon so he cat napped all day. I made turkey chili and turkey meatloaf. We had the chili for supper over spring mix with a heaping scoop of fresh guacamole from Whole Foods.

Friday was a crazy day. They were predicting a possibly epic snowstorm, so after our therapist cancelled like usual, Hubs and I headed out to stock up. I've been looking for Coconut Cream Pie Larabars forever. They're the only ones I like and they're impossible to find. I did find the and we picked up so necessities from Whole Foods and Salmon. It was a leftover smorgasbord for lunch and dinner was Meatloaf with Brussels sprouts and spinach.

Saturday we had company coming for supper and Monkey had been having a particularly fussy day. He had some vaccines on Wednesday and they really seem to be screwing with him. I got him up from his nap with every intention of cooking, instead he fell asleep on me and I got yummy baby snuggles. For supper I made carrot ginger soup, carrot soufflé, pork roast, roasted turnips and salad.

Whole30: Days 21, 22 and 23

Monday we had a very busy therapy day. Hubs is still home due to his Mono so we had leftover Carnitas for lunch and Trader Joe's Chili Lime Chicken Burgers for supper. They were fantastic!

Tuesday was another busy day. We had story time and then headed out shopping. I made turkey burgers for lunch and supper was roasted beets grilled hotdogs and sauerkraut.

Wednesday we had a lot of therapy and I made it to the farmer's market and Whole Foods. I made Dijon roasted chicken breast for lunch and for supper we had leftover chicken cold over spring mix with dill and parsley. I made a citrus cilantro dressing with it.

I finally finished It Starts With Food and realized I've been doings lots is things wrong. I don't think we've been eating enough vegetables so I've been adding more in. Also no more starting our day with a fruit smoothie. I generally don't eat much fruit but I'm guilty if starting the day with a fruit smoothie and sending my body the wrong message. Since cutting it smoothies and adding more vegetables I've definitely felt my body respond.

I can't believe there is only a week left of the 30 days. It went by so fast and yet feels so long term already.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Whole30: Days 18, 19 and 20


This weekend has flown by.  Maybe it’s the hyper vigilance I’ve been paying to Bear after his seizure or that I feel more in the moment, but I feel like it was just Thursday night.


Friday Hubs went to work all day and I made him a good breakfast before he left.  For dinner we had grilled chicken, applesauce, roasted sweet potatoes and roasted beets.


Saturday was family day.  My mom, Hubs, Bear, Monkey and I headed out to pick up their medicine and then we went to a winter farmer’s marker.  I bought some Grass fed ground beef and a london broil  We also got organic parsnips, carrots, and brussel sprouts so fresh they’re still on the vine.  We also had our first experience eating out.  We ordered burgers served on lettuce with fresh fruit and it was very good.  Except they put the burger on a slice of toast so we just put it aside and ate the rest.  For supper I made chicken meatloaf and spinach salad (another fancy name for raw spinach with salad dressing.   While we were at lunch Hubs received a call from the doctor stating that his bloodwork came back positive for MONO!!!


Sunday we opted not to go to church because of Hubs’ Mono and because we’re to wary to leave Bear in a new nursery after the seizure incident.  I ran some errands for Monkey’s formula and to Trader Joe’s.  We were completely out of coconut milk.  I made Crockpot Carnitas for supper.



Crockpot Carnitas

pork roast (mine was about 2-3 lbs)

1 tbsp kosher salt,

1 tbsp cumin

1 tbsp cinnamon

1 tsp garlic powder

juice of 1 lime

juice of 1 orange


Combine seasoning in dish and rub over pork.  Place pork in crockpot and pour lime juice and orange juice around it.  Cover and cook on low for 6-8 hours. 


I served it on romaine lettuce with avocado and tomatillo salsa.


TIPS:  I did not have fresh limes so I used the lime juice in the little bottle.  I added about 3-4 Tbsp of juice.  I also didn’t feel like peeling an orange so I used about 1/4 cup of Simply Orange Juice with Pineapple.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Whole30: Day 15, 16, 17 and seizures


Tuesday hubs came down with a virus and was not in the mood to eat so I just made some hot dogs and a salad.  we had a boring day and I spent the evening getting ready for the doctor’s the next day.


Wednesday we had a doctor’s appointment for both boys and of course it decided to snow overnight and there were accidents every where.  I did have to grab a LaraBar and an apple for breakfast and we had taco salad for dinner.


Thursday Hubs finally went to the doctor after our meeting about transitioning to an IEP and they said he has a virus going around.  I made Paleo Paella for dinner and it was okay.  Then of course Bear had his first possible seizure during dinner and I stress ate and ate the whole plate of food.  I’m craving junk food in a stress way but trying to relax and let my emotions run their course. 


It’s very scary to witness a seizure and to have your child unable to respond.   Unfortunately, with his rare diagnosis came the possibility of seizures.  There was no guarantee he would ever develop them and we were hopeful with his normal brain MRI that he would be safe.  But, I think he definitely had one tonight.  Tomorrow I will be calling a new pediatric neurologist (we haven’t found one yet since we moved) and starting down the journey of seizures.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Whole30: Days 12, 13, 14


I bet you thought I totally fell off the wagon!!! Nope!!! Just had a busy weekend and I feel I have enough of a handle on this diet to just eat as I need. 


Saturday we had friends over so I made London Broil with cashew cream sauce, carrot soufflé (yum! much better than the pumpkin), sautéed red peppers and a big salad.  We use Tessemae’s salad dressing.  These friends aren’t doing Whole30 but one is following Weight Watchers and thankfully they’re adventurous eaters. 


Sunday was a sleepy day followed by a trip to Whole Foods and Trader Joes.  I finally found coconut aminos at a different Whole Foods (this one was way bigger) and we got frozen fruit for smoothies at Trader Joe’s.  Monkey behaved so well he even managed to sit in the stroller for like 20 minutes.  THIS IS A RECORD FOR HIM!  I made curry with chicken, red peppers and cauliflower rice.  We also had a salad with it.


I’m struggling with green vegetables so I’ve been trying to add more salads as side dishes.  Maybe struggling isn’t the right word, but I have difficulty keeping them around very long.  Usually I buy 2-3 bags of brussel sprouts a week and we got through them in a day or two, and asparagus goes bad so quickly for me, that the only thing I have for the remainder of the week is spring mix and other baby lettuces. 


Monday was our busy day.  We have lots of therapy from 8:30 AM to 6 PM (next week we’re even adding an extra one).  I made a dijon roasted chicken, roasted sweet potatoes, sautéed kale and steamed broccoli.  The dijon roasted chicken came out fantastic and I didn’t eat my sweet potato and the kale was getting old, it was a bit bitter. 


I definitely feel I’ve lost weight, my fat pants are too loose, my skinny pants are SLIGHTLY snug but wearable.  I’ve gained a ton of energy (I even worked out today), and I’m a much more level mooded individual.  It’s amazing what this diet has done for me.  I’m also about 100 pgs into their book “It Starts With Foodand I’m in love.



Dijon Roasted Chicken

1/4 cup dijon mustard, I used Annie’s Organic

1 TBSP  lemon juice (I used fresh lemon juice and added about 1 tsp of zest)

1 TBSP olive oil.


Mix ingredients and rub over 3-4 lb roaster chicken.  salt and pepper to taste.  Bake at 425 for 40-50 minutes.  My chicken was 5.62 lbs and took about an hour.  I use a meat thermometer and take it out 10 degrees below doneness in the breast.  Then I cover the chicken and pan with tinfoil and let it rest.  The meat was perfect.


Tip:  Be sure to thoroughly dry your chicken. 

Friday, January 11, 2013

Whole30: Day 11


Breakfast:  1.5-2 scrambled eggs

Lunch:  Pork Roast with turnips and pumpkin soufflé

Snack:  Serving of almonds

Dinner:  Salad (arugula, spinach, baby kale, mushrooms, red bell pepper and egg) and Tessamae’s Ranch Dressing


Pumpkin soufflé was a disappointment.  I used Organic Canned Pumpkin from Trader Joe’s and it was just “meh”.  I would definitely stick to carrot or maybe butternut squash.  I’m tempted to try homegrown pumpkins in the fall, they’re much sweeter than the canned variety.


I can’t believe I’ve only been on this program for 11 days, it feels so much longer.  And not in a bad way.  It just feels “normal” now, like this is how I’ve always ate. I definitely feel my jeans getting looser and I have so much more energy.  Hubs said I looked healthier today, and in general I’m more calm and happier.


Today, when both kids were napping (YES!!! IT WAS A MIRACLE!!!) I focused on me and sat with my feet up and sipped a cup of hot English Breakfast Tea.  I relished in the quiet moment and the fact that one day I will miss the baby stage.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Whole30: Day 10

Breakfast:  2 scrambled eggs

Lunch:  2 Bilinski’s Spinach and Garlic Chicken Sausage, sautéed mushrooms and carrot soufflé

Snack:  serving of Macadamia Nuts

Dinner:  Asparagus Bacon Broccoli Soup


The soup recipe made so much that we’ve been eating it for days.  It’s an awesome go to easy meal when you don’t have time for all the chopping and cooking.


The carrot soufflé was amazing.  Simply amazing.  I will be making that again.  I am a reformed cooked carrot hater.  I really truly hate cooked carrots however, in this soufflé they were fantastic.


Today has been an odd day.  Hubs left for work in the middle of Bear’s therapy session and I just never got put together.  I ran an errand during the “non-nap time”.  That’s when everyone is supposed to be napping, but I come home to find a Bear who is playing and a Monkey who is   screaming.


I bought an herb chopper as I’m starting to dive into more fresh herbs.  I bought Rosemary and Sage at the Farmer’s Market this week.  Unfortunately, I’m not a great herb chopper so I really hesitate to use fresh herbs.  I’m excited to try it out tomorrow when I made a Pork Roast with Rosemary and Sage and Roasted Turnip.


I also bought new measuring spoons and cups (mine keep disappearing) and a silicone steamer basket.  I have the metal one, but it barely fits in my pot and it’s really been scraping it up.  It seems silly to keep damaging a really expensive pot for a $10 steamer basket.  I’m excited to try it out.  I foresee a lot of carrot soufflé in our future.  I also plan to try it with butternut squash.


I also got a mister for olive oil.  Today when I baked the carrot soufflé I had nothing to spray the ramekins with so I didn’t use anything.  So I got a hand me down mister from my mom who never used it and I’m excited to try it out for baking!

Portion control is something that has greatly worried me through this Whole30.  Maybe it’s the years of “dieting” and America’s oversized portions.  But I’ve noticed in the past few days (as long as I listen closely) my body tells me when it’s full way before I would have stopped eating in the past.  I feel satisfied, not stuffed and make it hours till I need to eat again.  It’s really not been difficult.


I did cheat though.  I did step on the scale and I have lost weight.  I wanted to see if I did to make sure that I didn’t need to change anything I was doing.  I was scared to commit to this Whole30 and be doing something wrong and basically wasting it.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Whole30: Day 9

This whole whole30 thing is becoming a lot more than just a food challenge. It seems that everyday I am feeling more compelled to challenge myself. To finally change from who I am to who I want to be. I want to be the calm mom. You know the one who when everything falls apart just throws her hands up and laughs or loads the kids in the car to go have some fun. I want to be the woman who feels more confident in her daily life, more assertive as to who she is and what she believes. I want to be the woman who can close her eyes at end of the day and know she was 100% present to her family that day. I've been struggling with being present because I am tired and our life is challenging. I need to work harder on accepting the challenges in my life and changing them. The challenges need to become less important, less focusing, and less defining. I don't want to be a special needs mom anymore. I want to be a mom who just happens to have children with special needs. There is no one to blame for how I have been feeling but myself and there is no one who can change how I have been feeling but myself.

I need to do more things for me. I need to put my feet up more and sip my tea. I need to do more creative things instead of watching tv, I need to start growing again and reaching for the sun. I have been hibernating way too long.

I do give credit to the whole30 for giving me the motivation. For the first time in a long time, I am starting to feel alive again. I am cooking and cleaning and feeling great. It is forcing me to refocus my energy and to really redefine what is important.

Breakfast: an apple and a serving of almonds
Lunch: taco salad
Snack half of Bear's banana
Dinner: chicken limone and baby carrots, no Brussels sprouts this time

I woke up feeling very bloated today so I have been focused on adding more fibrous veggies and fruit today. Energy wise, I have been sleeping terribly and having lots of nightmarish dreams. I am pretty tired during the day, which feels even longer because Hubs isn't getting home until pretty late.

I am still pretty excited to eat this way. I spend time dreaming of recipes and the temptation of junk food has really been minimal. Sometimes when I am around it and smelling it, it can get difficult for a moment. But I really love feeling this great.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Whole30: Day 8

Breakfast:   2 scrambled eggs

Lunch:  London Broil with cashew cream sauce, sautéed peppers, roasted sweet potatoes and artichoke hearts

Dinner:  Taco Salad


I’ve been making our nice meal at lunchtime before Hubs goes off to work.  The cashew cream sauce was excellent and very filling.  I ended up only eating the London Broil and peppers and tasting the artichoke and sweet potatoes.  It was truly satisfying and I never even felt hungry for snacks.


Tonight was a true test though.  Monkey has been so fussy today.  He woke up from his nap and screamed for hours.  After he finally went to bed I was very tempted to snack just to ease my anxiety.  Even though it would have been healthy food, I wasn’t hungry.  So I made the choice to do what any other Whole30’er would do…wash dishes (cause this program leaves my sink full of dishes constantly).  This is the first time that I’ve really been challenged with changing my relationship with food.  I’m glad to say that the temptation of eating is really reduced when my cravings for junk food have greatly diminished. 


Smelling junk food or seeing commercials do trigger memories but I’m honestly feeling so amazing that I’m not truly tempted to mess this up.


RECIPE:  Cashew Cream Sauce


Cover 1 cup of cashews with water and let soak.  Mine soaked for about 1.5 hours.


Heat one can of lite coconut milk on the stove and season.  I added about 1 tbsp tarragon but it wasn’t really noticeable. 


Drain soaked cashews and put in blender.  Add hot coconut milk mixture.


Blend till smooth.  Put back in pot and heat till simmering.


Like I said, this came out fantastic.  I have a KitchenAid Blender which is a decent blender, nowhere near the reputation of a vitamix, but it did a decent job on this.  Smoothies are another story.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Whole30: Day 7


A whole week complete!!!

Breakfast:  2 scrambled eggs (made with coconut milk) and a clementine

Lunch:  baby kale with chicken salad (I used homemade mayo and tarragon), sunflower seeds and half an avocado 

Snack 1:  1 serving of almonds

Snack 2:  1 serving of pistachios

DinnerAsparagus Bacon and Broccoli soup


Hubs is working a yucky shift this week, 12:30PM-10:00PM basically. So we had an early lunch.  But because of Monkey’s therapy I couldn’t eat dinner until 6 PM, I was so hungry!!!


So I ended up having 2 snacks between lunch and dinner to hold me over but I was so hungry I scarfed down my soup.  I ended up eating too much and having a stomach ache. 


However, the soup was fantastic!  The homemade mayo? Not so much.  I guess I just don’t like mayo, real or fake.  It’s greasy and blech.  I’m going to try it one more time extra seasoned, but I will not be making it again.


Today was a weird day. I feel great, have a ton of energy and the cravings have been minimal.  However, it was a mentally draining day.  I personally celebrated making it 1 week on the Whole30 and meal planning and all the cooking.  However, it hit me, I still have 23 days to go!!  And then I thought about adopting this diet forever and it was just overwhelming. I reminded myself to take it a day at a time and if I could do this for 7 days, I’m sure I could do it 7 more.  I think I’m just reminded how much I HATE this shift. 

I’m a little worried about next week.  The boys have a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday that will run into lunchtime and will be about an hour away.  Do I pack lunch? My mom will be coming with me and I’m sure she’ll want to get lunch.  Do I risk it and try eating out?

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Whole 30: Day 6

Breakfast:  2 bites of Bear’s banana and the rest of my Odwalla smoothie

Lunch:  Pork Chop with Sauerkraut and baby carrots

Snack:  1 taste of soup and serving of almonds

Dinner:  Coconut curry with chicken, red pepper and cauliflower rice

Snack:  Baby Carrots with cashew dip


Cauliflower ride is AMAZING!!! I really may never use rice again, it was that good.  I’ve been coming up with a bunch of recipes that sound amazing and I can’t wait to try them.

My energy is through the roof.  Not sure if I’m in a “Honeymoon Period” but I’ve really had no struggles after the first 2 days.  I have a few cravings but they pass quickly and I’m really trying to remember “This food will make me healthier or less healthy”. 

And I’m a long time junk food addict.  If I can do this, anyone can do this.  Really.

Whole30: Day 5


Breakfast:  Banana, half an avocado and a cup of half orange juice half water

Lunch: 1.5-2 eggs scrambled with coconut milk (I made 6 or 7 eggs for Hubs, Bear and Me and Bear ate about half my plate), 1 bite of apple (too mealy for me) and a pear

Dinner:  spring mix with strawberries and grilled pork chop with olive oil and red wine vinegar

Snack:  2 sips of Odwalla Mango Tango smoothie.  We were at Whole Foods and Hubs and I picked up a snack in case we were hungry while there.  However, I didn’t start mine till the way home and realized I wasn’t hungry so I figured I would save it for breakfast.

Today was a good day.  Hubs really struggled with cravings, but I didn’t.  We went to Whole Foods to get a few things (coconut butter, hot dogs, some fruit and salad dressings).

With 2 kids that get 11 hours of therapy a week I really needed some convenience food.  I’m spending all this time preparing dinner that we’re eating super later, etc.  So I wanted some time savers.

I did make “PALEO” mayo and I’m deciding whether or not to use it.  It’s technically against Whole30 because it’s paleo-fying junk food.  However, I normally do not use mayonaisse except in chicken or egg salad and it’s mixed 50/50 with mustard.  I don’t like mayonaisse so it wouldn’t screw up any psychological/emotional connection with food.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Whole30: Day 4

Breakfast:  2 eggs and half an orange

Snack:  1/4 c of almonds

Lunch:  Smoothie

Dinner:  5 almonds (we had a late dinner and I had a couple almonds while Hubs was eating them), Blueberry Breakfast Sausage, steamed Brussel Sprouts and sauteed mushrooms.


Let me start off by saying that the Blueberry Breakfast Sausage  was fantastic.  I’m not a huge fan of fruit in my meat or chicken.  But, I am worried about getting sick of meat and chicken by the end of the 30 days so I was excited to try something different.  I was really excited when I tasted it and it was fantastic.  This is definitely on the repeat list.


Today, I woke up feeling fantastic!!! The bathroom trips have lessened, the fiber bloat is completely gone and I’ve got energy out the wazoo.  While I was sitting down feeding Monkey I just had the itch to be getting up and doing something.  I find I’m a LOT less bloated overall.  My face and hands are a lot less puffy. 

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Whole30: Day 3

Breakfast a glass of half orange juice half water and some almonds while I waited for my smoothie to thaw.

Lunch:  smoothie and some spring mix with homemade dressing (olive oil, garlic, and red wine vinegar)

Snack:  about 10 pistachios and a few sips of coconut pineapple water.  I have come to the conclusion that I do NOT like coconut water by itself.  It’s fine mixed in smoothies but yuck by itself.

Dinner:  1 Bilinski’s chicken sausage (spinach and garlic), 2 eggs, sautéed kale, mushrooms and onions


Today I woke up feeling MUCH better.  Despite still wanting to sleep when Hubs woke me up so he could leave for work, I woke up quickly and have a bit of pep in my step today (Far better than the junk in the trunk of yesterday).  I’ve had no headache and feel a lot clearer, if that makes sense.  I don’t know how else to put it.  Not that I feel lighter in the sense of having lost 20 lbs. in 3 days, but more that I don’t feel weighed down by all the heavy junk in processed food or baked goods. 


The fiber bloat has gone down however my body, *ahem*, seems to be flushing itself out today and I have had lots of trips to the bathroom.  It could also be the 4907809234 glasses of water I’m drinking a day. 


I went to the Farmer’s Market today and scored big on lots of produce.  We had a lot of fruit, but I was really needing veggies for supper.  I got a bunch of Kale and decided to make Kale chips.  They are interesting.  They’re not bad, but they’re not much.  They kind of disintegrate when you go to eat them.  However, they have a nice nutty taste, with a smidge of saltiness. 


However, they’re not *REALLY* Whole30 approved.  The concept behind Whole30 is changing your relationship with food, not just paleo-fying junk food and making it healthier.  For me, it’s less about the paleo-fying junk food and more about finding snacks that are easy to eat and don’t require preparation in the moment.  It’s hard for me to find time to sit down and peel the entire orange or sit down and eat a juicy piece of fruit and have sticky hands when the boys are constantly needing me.


I also went to Target today.  Only today it should have been “Temptation Bullseye”.  I of course was getting hungry when I got there, (I ate lunch like 2 hours prior and had run a few other errands already) and walking through those aisles looking for the stuff I needed was not easy.  I did settle on pistachios and coconut water (which by my prior statement, I couldn’t consume beyond a few mouthfuls) and am really proud of myself.  I just kept telling myself that if I gave in now I would ruin the past 48 hours that I endured.  That awful headache, the bloat, the crabbiness would have all been for nothing.  So I grabbed my stuff and my snack and left.  It was hard in the car snacking on my nuts and drinking gagging coconut water. Even though all I could think about was grabbing a Coke at McDonalds next door.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Whole30: Day 2

Breakfast:  2-3 eggs (again I shared with Bear, who knows how much I actually got)
Snack:  palmful of cashews
Lunch:  Salad with grilled chicken, hardboiled eggs, and homemade dressing
Snack:  Banana.  Hubs got home late from after work errands and I was so hungry. 
Dinner:  Grilled chicken with homemade cranberry sauce (DO NOT TRY THIS! CRANBERRY SAUCE WITHOUT SUGAR IS AWFUL), brussel sprouts and salad

We ate late so I didn’t need an after dinner snack.

Today was awful.  I have a full on fiber bloat, and my belly is just uncomfortable.  I woke up with a MASSIVE headache rivaling that of college’s Thirsty Thursday aftermath.  I took some Advil and just got on with the day.

I truly felt like a drug addict.  I KNEW my headache was because of the sugar withdrawal, and I knew that sugar would cure the awfulness.  It was an odd position to be in.  It’s amazing how easily it is to become addicted to things when you’re not truly aware. 

6 years ago (oh my gosh, I can’t believe it’s that long) I underwent major surgery.  Post op I was prescribed massive painkillers to get through the LONG recovery period.  It was awful, I had surgery on my chest and it was January and then I developed pneumonia and they wanted to me to cough constantly to clear my lungs out.  I took one long inhale on the incentive spirometer and almost passed out from the pain.  In the following weeks the pain quickly lessened but now I was in a doze-all-day-watch-TV-all-night stupor.  I clearly remember the moment that I went to take a painkiller to “help me sleep at night”.  It instantly smacked me in the face, that this is the moment that addictions are born.  I quickly put away the painkillers and watched awful late night TV and sucked it up. 

It was amazing to be back in a similar position, but not because of controlled substances, because of sugar.

Another part of my problem, is that we ate dinner at 3PM yesterday.  We stayed up late watching Parenthood and 8 hours with only an apple and then to make it through the night was just too long with too little.  Today I upped my food amount to kind of balance yesterday and to jump start my metabolism.
Hopefully tomorrow I start feeling like myself.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Whole30: Take 2


Yes, yes I know I wrote that I was supposedly doing a Whole30 months ago.  Then Hurricane Sandy hit and Hubs was out of work all week.  We decided to take the boys back to the Midwest for a visit and about 2 days in we cracked.  It’s very difficult to stick to the rigid diet requirements when you can’t do any of your own meal preparation or cooking.  And being in a dairy and potato area (no joke, we stayed with a family of potato farmers) it’s next to impossible to avoid those ingredients.


So we gave up with the intention of restarting after Thanksgiving.  But then, I wanted to make Christmas cookies and Monkey was sleeping awful so I was drinking plenty of coffee with lots of creamer.


And then we decided to start after Christmas, but again we would have tons of Christmas leftovers and plenty of treats to eat.  So I set a deadline to stop the bargaining process.


January 1, new year, new diet, new us.


So today was Day 1.


Breakfast:  half of a pear

Lunch:    1.5-2 eggs (Bear ate most of mine then wouldn’t touch what we made him so it was somewhere around that much) and a pile of Kale sautéed in garlic and EVOO

Dinner:  Roasted cauliflower, ham, kielbasa and roasted sweet potato with cinnamon.

Snack:  Apple with macadamia nut butter (oh my gosh it’s so good)


Tonight I tried Macadamia nut butter.  I actually bought it for our last attempt at the Whole30 after I realized I wasn’t head over heels in love with almond butter.  And it’s fantastic. It’s ridiculously expensive so I only had about a teaspoon sized serving.


Today has been very hard.  Last time Day 1 wasn’t so difficult, but we hadn’t been eating cookies like they were Twinkies.

I’ve been having major sugar cravings and I’ve been really hungry ALL DAY.  I’ve also been tired and crabby.  Hubs said he had a headache all day, he’s been really tired and craving sweets.

Last time we made it about 7 days.  We’ll see if we make it farther this time.

For the rest of the week I premade smoothies yesterday and put them in freezer bags and froze them.  I used strawberries, blueberries, mixed fruit, berry medley, spinach, orange juice, carrot juice and coconut milk.  Unfortunately our avocados weren’t ripe enough to throw in, but I put a whole bag of baby spinach in like 5 smoothies so there is some greens to it. 

I’m hoping this boost of nutition will boost our immune systems.  We’ve all been sick since about Thanksgiving.  Bear can’t get rid of his double ear infections and nasty cough.  Monkey, has the runny nose, Hubs and I are still getting over this.  My ears are clogged solid.  And now Grandma and Granddad are fighting off the same cold too.

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