Whole30: Day 9

This whole whole30 thing is becoming a lot more than just a food challenge. It seems that everyday I am feeling more compelled to challenge myself. To finally change from who I am to who I want to be. I want to be the calm mom. You know the one who when everything falls apart just throws her hands up and laughs or loads the kids in the car to go have some fun. I want to be the woman who feels more confident in her daily life, more assertive as to who she is and what she believes. I want to be the woman who can close her eyes at end of the day and know she was 100% present to her family that day. I've been struggling with being present because I am tired and our life is challenging. I need to work harder on accepting the challenges in my life and changing them. The challenges need to become less important, less focusing, and less defining. I don't want to be a special needs mom anymore. I want to be a mom who just happens to have children with special needs. There is no one to blame for how I have been feeling but myself and there is no one who can change how I have been feeling but myself.

I need to do more things for me. I need to put my feet up more and sip my tea. I need to do more creative things instead of watching tv, I need to start growing again and reaching for the sun. I have been hibernating way too long.

I do give credit to the whole30 for giving me the motivation. For the first time in a long time, I am starting to feel alive again. I am cooking and cleaning and feeling great. It is forcing me to refocus my energy and to really redefine what is important.

Breakfast: an apple and a serving of almonds
Lunch: taco salad
Snack half of Bear's banana
Dinner: chicken limone and baby carrots, no Brussels sprouts this time

I woke up feeling very bloated today so I have been focused on adding more fibrous veggies and fruit today. Energy wise, I have been sleeping terribly and having lots of nightmarish dreams. I am pretty tired during the day, which feels even longer because Hubs isn't getting home until pretty late.

I am still pretty excited to eat this way. I spend time dreaming of recipes and the temptation of junk food has really been minimal. Sometimes when I am around it and smelling it, it can get difficult for a moment. But I really love feeling this great.