A fun four letter word. Fear.
It's a strange concept. Our society gives off the opinion that fear is bad. We are supposed to be "strong women", Franklin D Roosevelt said in his inaugural speech that "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself". Fear is equated with being cowardly.
I do not fear fear. I embrace fear.
Fear changes my life. Fear motivates me to move. Fear of the unknown, fear of complacency, fear of being closed-minded, fear of failing.
I fear for my son's future. It keeps me going when I'm trying to work 18 hours a week, attend hours of therapy, and drive 40 minutes to the hospital for his appointments. Also add in trying to manage insurance issues, medical bills, scheduling medical procedures, and running a home. Add in there the daily therapy stretches we do, and the responsibility of our church requirements, and there isn't much time in the day. There are days that I'm tired. I want nothing more than hide under the covers and forget about it all.
But I can't. So, I think of the fearful future that could possibly lay before Bear and I jump up and get to it.
I fear being complacent. I fear never growing, changing, learning or challenging my beliefs. It gets me motivated to volunteer, to teach Sunday School, to question my beliefs, to read, to educate myself on a new subject, to fight my for rights. And most importantly to reevaluate myself and to become the person I dream of.
I fear being closed-minded. I try to get to know everyone. My life is in a difficult stage so I try to lend an ear, reach out a hand and help someone going through difficult times also. I learn others' stories. I want to know people with different backgrounds than my own. I want to learn so that I can receive others that way God and Jesus receive them.
There is a fear of failing. This is not personal failure, that could be considered hochmut (personal pride). I fear failing my God, my husband, my son, my friends, my church, my family, my neighbours, my community, my world. This makes me volunteer. To do better for everyone. To be a better Christian, a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, a better neighbour and so on. I want to spread my joy. I want to volunteer to help make someones life easier, I want to give and share all the blessings that have been bestowed upon my family.
Fear can be the greatest gift God gives to us and yet our post-modern society is trying to snuff it out.
Do you embrace or fear FEAR?
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